So a few weeks ago, I asked a question to our Instagram followers, about toxic relationships/friendships. A toxic relationship is when someone you know pretty well makes you feel unsupported in some way. Maybe there are a few red flags, and maybe it’s so toxic you can’t even realize it yourself for a while.
You can see the question and responses here, from our Instagram post.
Yes, some of the responses made me quite angry, which you can tell by my response to some of them, and also sad. But, after reflection on this, there were a few common themes…one of them being, SPACE.
Let me explain what I mean. So, once our students were alone, away from their toxic relationship they were able to find clarity. You need to grant yourself some space for clarity. You’re on the go all the time, too busy to allow yourself to think. I’m not saying sit alone all day with your thoughts, because that may not be productive, however, allow yourself to just be. Do you have a time in your day that you stand still? You’re probably replaying your day to day in your mind and thinking no…I have children, or I’m running from one job to another.
I don’t have children, but I sometimes get alone time in the shower…taking a few extra minutes to feel the water on me, close my eyes, and just be. No dog, no husband, just me. Sometimes some clarifying thoughts hit me. I also try and go outside if I can to sit in my backyard…even if it’s 1-3 minutes a day, you need that space. Some of our students didn’t get that space until they were away from that toxic relationship to realize it was toxic!
I was talking to one of our students in our studio who is a mother with children. She was telling me of a tough time she was going through and how everything is going haywire at the moment in her household. I commended her for making the commitment to our studio, as she said it was an outlet for her, but I also said, don’t fill your alone time with things to do, sometimes you do need quiet time. She agreed, and said she sometimes pulls over on the side of the road before she gets home to get that clarity. I was delighted for her. Even though she is having a tough time, not only is she practicing self-care by coming to the studio amongst others, but also fitting in space during the day to take control of her situation and get clarity. Lack of clarity makes you do crazy things, like stay in toxic relationships. Those red flags that your friends are telling you about or you’re ignoring start to look like the theme-park six flags because you’re lacking clarity and so down deep.
I implore you to start working in some space to make it part of your daily tasks. Maybe it’s during your lunch break, maybe take an extra 5 minutes in the bathroom, or on the side of the road. Wherever it is, close your eyes, and take some breaths, and just be.