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Stop being a people pleaser

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Stop being a people pleaser

It’s difficult to purposefully step away from something or someone you really want, but if it is draining you of time and you have nothing to show for it, you are diminishing your self-worth. However, respect is earned and can be lost. If someone isn’t giving you what you need in return for all that you’ve invested, that’s your cue to see yourself out. Being a people pleaser can show up in all aspects of your life: work, relationships, friendships, etc. You go out of your way to make other people happy, to the detriment of your own, even if you don’t realize it! You start to diminish your own time and resources without little reward.

I know it can be hard to say no. But, you can instead say: let me get back to you. Adding a slight delay will help you not give up time… to not feed into your habit of always saying yes. It will also allow you to come up with a response to easily let the person down with a polite no. You will have space to think.

The only thing you owe people is what they owe you; respect of personal space, time and privacy. If someone doesn’t understand or consider that, they are simply not worth the resources you have invested! You are powerful and worthy of a lot more than they have given you thus far. While it’s hard to take a step back and realize what you are worth at a moment’s notice, when looking at the big picture your time is highly valuable and where you spend it is as well. Take a pause, take a breath, even in front of that person with the ask. It will make you look more confident and powerful. Sometimes, when there is silence, it makes the other person wonder if their ask was too much.

Think of that niece, or sibling, or friend who you don’t spend nearly as much time as you would like with. Is this person who is draining you of that worth what you have to offer? Time allocation and management is such an important skill because time is SO valuable, especially yours. When you start to do things for yourself, invest in yourself, develop self-care practices, you will start to see a shift, not only in yourself but in others around you. You will not be drained and always trying to people please.

I implore you to start these practices now. If you sign up for my stand in confidence workshops, you will start to have tools in your back pocket that will help you stand up taller, reclaim your self-worth, and gain more self-esteem.